Apples Of Gold
Submitted By Cindy Palen, Patriot Mom
God’s word has a lot to say about the little member of our body, the tongue. Our words can build up our house, or tear it down. As the mothers and managers of our homes, we set the attitude for the rest of the family. If we have a bad attitude, it will trickle down to our children, and our husband will feel it like a whirlwind of fire when he comes home from work. God warns us that our whole body can be defiled by our tongue.
James 3:4-6
Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
James 1:26
If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
Here we see a person who is religious, always at church, appearing to do the right things, and yet he is deceiving his own heart. All his religious ways are for nothing because he does not bridle his tongue. We need to heed the warning because we will be called to account for our words. Jesus said,
Matthew 12:36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
We want life to be joyful, pleasant and good, and scripture gives us this key, but we often neglect the warning:
1 Peter 3:10
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
We need to encourage our children and husbands. Complaining should not be part of our conversation. Groans, sighs, and discontentment are not part of a child of God’s life. Paul gives us instruction on how our words should be used.
God’s word has a lot to say about the little member of our body, the tongue. Our words can build up our house, or tear it down. As the mothers and managers of our homes, we set the attitude for the rest of the family. If we have a bad attitude, it will trickle down to our children, and our husband will feel it like a whirlwind of fire when he comes home from work. God warns us that our whole body can be defiled by our tongue.
James 3:4-6
Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
James 1:26
If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
Here we see a person who is religious, always at church, appearing to do the right things, and yet he is deceiving his own heart. All his religious ways are for nothing because he does not bridle his tongue. We need to heed the warning because we will be called to account for our words. Jesus said,
Matthew 12:36
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
We want life to be joyful, pleasant and good, and scripture gives us this key, but we often neglect the warning:
1 Peter 3:10
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.
We need to encourage our children and husbands. Complaining should not be part of our conversation. Groans, sighs, and discontentment are not part of a child of God’s life. Paul gives us instruction on how our words should be used.
2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
We need to rebuke when necessary, but exhort, or encourage, with patience and doctrine (according to God’s word).
God gives parents wisdom in encouraging our children. If we are angry when we rebuke our children, they will be angry as well. It is necessary to train, discipline and correct our children when they err, but if we train them with joy on our faces, our words will be like apples of gold, instead of a stench.
Proverbs 25:11
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Imagine this: My child has wandered from her school work for the 6th time today, and is playing in the corner. It’s already 3:00, and she has much work left to do. I get angry because I sense the urgency to complete the assignments, and I am frustrated because of this continual disobedience. I yell and scream and force her to sit beside me until we finish all the work. When dad comes home, we are both angry and frustrated, and I complain to my husband about the child’s misbehavior.
Here is how it could have gone: I give my child her handwriting assignment to complete at the kitchen table. I stay nearby washing dishes as she begins her work. I deliberately step into another room for a few minutes, watching discretely to see if she will continue her work in my absence, or step away when I am gone. I have laundry to do, but I know if I spend my time early in the day peeking at her, I will train her to obedience, and we will both get more done today. She quits working shortly after I leave the room. Immediately, I reappear, and she is disciplined for leaving her work. I am joyful. I expected her to get up, that is why I was hiding in the hall. The discipline is executed without anger. Depending on the child, this may have to be repeated a time or two, but children do learn when negative consequences are consistently and joyfully enforced.
Colossians 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Another scenario:
My child is at the table doing his math. I walk by with a pile of laundry in hand, and see that he is getting frustrated, and has not accomplished what I expected him to in the time he has had. I begin singing, “The joy of the Lord is my strength, the joy of the Lord, is my strength…” Then I swing by the table and say, “How’s that math coming? Do you need some help?” I will get a much better answer than if I saw him there and wrathfully said, “Is THAT all you have gotten done?! You’ve been at that for TWO hours! You better hurry up, or we’ll be late for soccer!”
Remember:
Nehemiah 8:10
…the joy of the Lord is your strength
So, as the heartbeat of our family, let our heart be in continual communion with the Lord. We can try to be joyful, but if God’s spirit is not living and active inside of us, we will fail. If our walk with the Lord is withered and dry, our words will be withered as well. You cannot get good fruit out of a dry vine. If we are connected to The Vine, Jesus Christ, we will bring forth good fruit. If we are connected to the world and the cares thereof, we will bring forth fruit worthy to be cast into the fire, and our families will suffer from our lack of diligence. Be encouraged, all things are possible to them which believe. Plug into the Vine, and He will carry you through any trial that comes your way!
Cindy Palen
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
We need to rebuke when necessary, but exhort, or encourage, with patience and doctrine (according to God’s word).
God gives parents wisdom in encouraging our children. If we are angry when we rebuke our children, they will be angry as well. It is necessary to train, discipline and correct our children when they err, but if we train them with joy on our faces, our words will be like apples of gold, instead of a stench.
Proverbs 25:11
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Imagine this: My child has wandered from her school work for the 6th time today, and is playing in the corner. It’s already 3:00, and she has much work left to do. I get angry because I sense the urgency to complete the assignments, and I am frustrated because of this continual disobedience. I yell and scream and force her to sit beside me until we finish all the work. When dad comes home, we are both angry and frustrated, and I complain to my husband about the child’s misbehavior.
Here is how it could have gone: I give my child her handwriting assignment to complete at the kitchen table. I stay nearby washing dishes as she begins her work. I deliberately step into another room for a few minutes, watching discretely to see if she will continue her work in my absence, or step away when I am gone. I have laundry to do, but I know if I spend my time early in the day peeking at her, I will train her to obedience, and we will both get more done today. She quits working shortly after I leave the room. Immediately, I reappear, and she is disciplined for leaving her work. I am joyful. I expected her to get up, that is why I was hiding in the hall. The discipline is executed without anger. Depending on the child, this may have to be repeated a time or two, but children do learn when negative consequences are consistently and joyfully enforced.
Colossians 3:21
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Another scenario:
My child is at the table doing his math. I walk by with a pile of laundry in hand, and see that he is getting frustrated, and has not accomplished what I expected him to in the time he has had. I begin singing, “The joy of the Lord is my strength, the joy of the Lord, is my strength…” Then I swing by the table and say, “How’s that math coming? Do you need some help?” I will get a much better answer than if I saw him there and wrathfully said, “Is THAT all you have gotten done?! You’ve been at that for TWO hours! You better hurry up, or we’ll be late for soccer!”
Remember:
Nehemiah 8:10
…the joy of the Lord is your strength
So, as the heartbeat of our family, let our heart be in continual communion with the Lord. We can try to be joyful, but if God’s spirit is not living and active inside of us, we will fail. If our walk with the Lord is withered and dry, our words will be withered as well. You cannot get good fruit out of a dry vine. If we are connected to The Vine, Jesus Christ, we will bring forth good fruit. If we are connected to the world and the cares thereof, we will bring forth fruit worthy to be cast into the fire, and our families will suffer from our lack of diligence. Be encouraged, all things are possible to them which believe. Plug into the Vine, and He will carry you through any trial that comes your way!
Cindy Palen
I learn so much from you. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your heart Cindy! I have loved all your talks.